It’s completely natural that most teenagers become sexually aware as they move through the various stages of adolescence, however everybody is different so everyone will experience this awareness at different ages and to different extents.
It’s often difficult when you’re going through adolescence, as your bodies are changing and you’re becoming more sexually aware. This can bring things like peer pressure and confidence issues that can be quite difficult to tackle; particularly if you deal with it alone. This is why it’s important to talk to somebody about how you’re feeling – your friends, your parents, or even a teacher – if you’re ever feeling pressured or if you’re ready to take the next step sexually, but you’re not quite sure how to go about it.
During your teens, the hormonal and physical changes of puberty can lead to the awakening of sexual feelings, so when you’ve never experienced them before it’s often quite confusing. It takes a lot of time to understand who you are, what you’re experiencing and who you’re becoming, and it’s a gradual change that won’t happen overnight. Part of that also involves understanding your own sexual feelings and what it feels like to become sexually attracted to someone. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not feeling sexual attraction, this is completely normal; these feelings will gradually begin to develop as you mature and get older. You might also start to become aware of your sexual orientation, which means figuring out whether you’re romantically attracted to people of the opposite sex (heterosexual), to people of the same sex (homosexual) or to people of both sexes (bisexual). Everyone develops sexually at a different ages, so don’t put pressure on yourself to feel or act in a certain way as it will come naturally when you’re ready.
It can be a difficult world for teens especially if your peers around you are becoming sexually aware or sexually active and you’re not; just remember that everybody is different, and even though your friends are saying certain things about sex it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re telling the truth. Don’t let anybody tell you what you should or shouldn’t be feeling, as sexual awareness is an extremely personal thing so only you can be the judge of how you’re feeling. If you begin making decisions based on the actions of your peers this can be particularly dangerous as it may lead to you do things that you don’t wish to do, so always be the one to make the decision and never feel guilty if you’re not doing what your peers say you should be.
If you’re in a relationship, you may be experiencing sexual feelings towards your boyfriend/girlfriend which is perfectly normal. As your body is developing and hormones are being released into your body, this can make you feel sexually attracted to your partner, however don’t jump into things and rush it – only engage in sexual activity when you feel absolutely ready. You may start to have more physical contact with your partner, such as kissing or touching, and this is part of sexual exploration and awareness. However, always be honest with your partner if you ever feel uncomfortable and there is no pressure to rush into sex or sexual activity.
The world of sex is often daunting and confusing, so remember not to do anything you’re not 100% comfortable with and that there is nothing wrong with discussing how you’re feeling with your parents, teachers or friends. Sexual awareness is a perfectly normal part of growing up, so it’s more than likely your peers might be experiencing a similar thing. Don’t feel embarrassed to talk to your parents about it; they will be happier that you’ve spoken to this about them so that they’re aware and feel involved with your life.